The Creation of NZ (according to the Maori)

Maui was a demi-god, who lived in Hawaiiki. He possessed magic powers that not all of his family knew about.

One day when he was very young, he hid in the bottom of his brothers' boat in order to go out fishing with them. Once out at sea, Maui was discovered by his brothers, but they were not able to take him back to shore as Maui made use of his magic powers, making the shoreline seem much further away than it was in reality.

So the brothers continued rowing, and once they were far out into the ocean Maui dropped his magic fishhook over the side of the waka (canoe). After a while he felt a strong tug on the line. This seemed to be too strong a tug to be any ordinary fish, so Maui called to his brothers for assistance.

After much straining and pulling, up suddenly surfaced Te Ika a Maui (the fish of Maui), known today as the North Island of New Zealand. Maui told his brothers that the Gods might be angry about this, and he asked his brothers to wait while he went to make peace with the Gods.

However, once Maui had gone his brothers began to argue among themselves about the possession of this new land. They took out their weapons and started pounding away at the catch. The blows on the land created the many mountains and valleys of the North Island today.

In an unfortunate turn of events, Maui then bumped into his old acquaintance, Satan, just as he was returning from his epic fishing trip. To celebrate, the two of them went out drinking (as Satan is wont to do). The next morning, Maui awoke with a demigod-grade hangover to discover that he had somehow created the sandfly during his night out. The Gods were incredibly pissed about this and an entirely new set of demigods was soon elected.

Now is a good time to point out that New Zealand is remarkably devoid of creatures capable of hurting humans (especially when you consider its proximity to Australia, where most living things can kill you instantly). There are no poisonous snakes. The only mammals present are dolphins and one species of long-tailed bat (ergo, no bears, wolverines, boars, mountain lions, etc.). There are two species of posionous spiders here, but bites from them are extremely rare. As you'll recall, the apex predator when the Maori first arrived was a huge, flightless bird.

This is where the sandfly comes in. It's really the only creature you have to worry about, but Holy Mother of God is it a nusiance. They congregate around areas with running water and they show up in huge numbers. Their bite isn't too bad- it feels kind of like a flea- but the itching that results is awful. If you've ever been bitten by a chigger, that's a reasonable approximation.

There's no really good way to avoid these things. I've tried 90% DEET (how good is that for your skin?) and it only kinda worked. They do fly slowly, though, so they won't bite if you keep moving. This explains why people in certain parts of the South Island often appear to have a bad case of Parkinson's. Thankfully, we've only run into these terrors in remote places on the South Island. Unfortunately, we'll be spending most of January in- you guessed it- remote places on the South Island. I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh yeah: a few of you have asked about our plans for returning to the US. Not sure how I forgot to mention this, but I signed a new contract which starts in February and runs until mid-May. We'll be heading home before the end of May.

Thanks to maori-in-oz.com for the creation story (minus the last paragraph) and to the NZ gov't for the pic of the sandfly.